back to the drawing board.

so. my daily painting yesterday was a little message to myself.

i have been working on a big commission the last 3 months and 2 days ago i put the piece in the kiln to fire. this was what went in:
(btw, they were dry, i just don't have a picture of them dry)

its is 3 large scale books with a base. anyhoo. i have been waiting FOREVER for it to dry. and then some just to be sure. ahem.

so, yesterday i opened the kiln (just a peek as is was still hot but i just HAD to know, though i had an uncertain feeling about it all along) and was NERVOUS to even look.

um, let's just say i knew immediately there was a problem with the base, which was on the top shelf. it was in shatters. i closed the lid and waited for it to cool completely and prayed the books were ok. sure, i can make another base. it won't be so bad, etc. etc. oh, sweet denial.

yea. i know. tears.


sigh.

i don't remember off hand the 7 stages of grief, but i'm pretty sure i went through them all this morning. ugh.

the worst part. is now i have to email the patron and tell them the bad news and hope they kindly give me more time to redo this. sheesh.

anyhow, normally i would like to wallow in the disappointment and give myself a week to recover, maybe go out with friends and cheer myself up, go shopping, generally avoiding anything to do with the entire issue. but, unfortunately, i have created an entirely too busy a life to indulge this. and being in a bad mood over it really is a drag. (but can i just say that "it's not fair!!" )

my mister reminded me that at least i'm not (fill in the blank) or don't have (fill in the blank). you know, i GET that, but even though i'm not starving in africa, i AM DISAPPIONTED!!!!!

OK. in the spirit of "pulling it together", though, i decided i have a choice:

1. i can wallow in the stink of professional failure (which i don't really have time for and is really boring for anyone around other than the wallower)

2. i can dust myself off (literally as you see it really made a mess), vacuum out my kiln, and start over. just writing this makes me a little tired. sniff sniff, but alas, it's the only thing to do.

so i pick #2. now i get to write a fun email and get back to work. after all, i have a daily painting to do. not to mention a giant sculpture. hm.